I get whispers all the time along the lines of “lol,” “awesome,” and “that’s great,” and it’s all because of one award-winning macro. It pulls a random /say every time I res someone, so everyone feels like they get a personalized joke.

Ready for it? Copy-paste this into your macro box:

#showtooltip
/cast Resurrection Or whatever your res spell is
/run SendChatMessage (GetRandomArgument(“%t”, “%t”, “%t”, “%t”), “SAY”)

Inside of the quotation marks, make a unique phrase that incorporates %t–that’ll display the name of your target–so that you’re not only getting some great reactions, you’re letting the other ressers know who you’re in the middle of reviving.

My macro looks like this:

#showtooltip
/cast Resurrection
/run SendChatMessage (GetRandomArgument(“Resisting…urge…to t-bag…%t…”, “%t scores A+ on dying!”, “%t, I give you res, five gold!”, “%t, thank you for choosing Joh Res Service for all your resing needs.”), “SAY”)

So my character will randomly say: “Resisting…urge…to t-bag…Elowyn…” or “Elowyn scores A+ on dying!” or “Elowyn, I give you res, five gold!” or “Elowyn, thank you for choosing Joh Res Service for all your resing needs.”

Some pointers regarding this macro:

• Remember you only get 250 characters. Mine cuts it very close.
• You can replace “SAY” with “PARTY” or “RAID” or “YELL” or “EMOTE” if you so choose.
• You can use this macro for other fundamental spells the people around you should know about, like crowd control. Simply replace the name of the spell on the /cast line.

Yesterday I posted about AFKing players and some Internet sites you can visit during raiding lulls. One of the other pass times I have for those BRB moments is playing with this macro. I try to change my res macro’s random sayings once a month to keep the jokes fresh; it gets old after you say the same thing 100 times, so mix it up often!

My guild raids on alternating Fridays and Saturdays (this week being Saturday), so I thought it was time to look into raid breaking. Every raid has at least two of the following five archetypes floating around in it at all times:

• The player that lives with mom and/or dad and has to AFK randomly because of parent aggro
• The player that has a smoking habit and has to AFK way too often to suck on something
• The player that pushes for a raid to go past 8 PM and then tells everyone right before the Big Pull that they’re AFK’ing for dinner
• The player that has some personal problem that causes them to AFK inexplicably and stir up “he must have fallen into the toilet” remarks
• The player that says he’s getting water and doesn’t come back for five minutes

Either way, you’re going to have some raid break time.

You can do three things in this scenario:

1. Nothing. (This is usually easy for your fellow raid-mates to deduce because you whine about how long it’s taking.)
2. Browse the Internet in solitude. (This is a little harder to deduce but is generally obvious by how you are not available even though you have not AFK’d.)
3. Browse the Internet and share with other raid-mates. #1 people salute you.

The next time you’re in this situation, I encourage you to be a proud #3 and share some hilarious and/or adorable websites with your raid-mates. After all, that’s what we gamers like, right?–hilarious and adorable? We like gross too, but that usually defaults back into hilarious.

As a smite priest, I’m a hidden pro at this because I like to find ways to divert the conversations away from the DPS charts whenever possible. (#1’s seem to stretch their egos, fake or not, all over these charts during these quiet moments.) Here’s some of the recommendations that I make. Many of these were originally recommended to me.

The Hilarious

• Marvelous Man Boobs is perfect whenever there’s too much testosterone floating around.
• Get On My Horse may prompt singing.
• The Oatmeal is a general fix-all.

The Cute

• Cute Overload is a classic.
• Zoo Borns is the one I like to share with my fellow female raid-mates.
• Daily Squee is the first thing that comes to mind when people are squealing about gear in Vent.

The Hilarious and Cute

• Fuck You, Penguin is one of my personal favorites, but I’ve noticed some people get bored by it.
• I Can Has Cheezburger is always a win.

What sites to you like to go to when your raid AFK’s? Share and I’ll add to the list!

I’m participating in a healing quiz floating around the blog-o-sphere. I discovered this questionnaire on A Night in the Day of a Night Elf Druid and thought I’d give it a go. I stumbled upon the blog while doing research yesterday for DoT and HoT clipping is bad!

• What is the name, class, and spec of your primary healer? I have two healers: Johannah, Holy priest (who smites, never Discipline!); and Kourtnie, Restoration shaman
• What is your primary group healing environment? (i.e. raids, pvp, 5 mans) All of the above, but raiding takes the cake. Mostly 10-mans; 25-mans once in awhile. I do PvP as a healer too though in both battlegrounds and arenas, and who doesn’t do the heroic daily!?
• What is your favorite healing spell for your class and why?
  • Priest: Gotta be Guardian Spirit; glyph it up and you get 150% healing boosts really often! Circle of Healing and Divine Hymn are close seconds though.
  • Shaman: Earth Shield. I like to make a game out of seeing if a tank can get through a heroic with only Earth Shield and Riptide.
• What healing spell do you use least for your class and why?
  • Priest: Binding Heal, which is terrible, because it’s an excellent spell. It’s not that I don’t know it’s there, it’s that my health is usually the last thing on my mind. I think if I had to pick one to consciously forget, it’d be Greater Heal, because I’m much more focused on raid healing that trying to nab large chunks of damage off tanks. Our paladins do a dandy job on that.
  • Shaman: Chain Heal, and this is why I switched to Holy priest as my raider. I understand that 3.2 boosted Chain Heal significantly, but my play style just veers more towards fast-action spells and it’s undeniably slow to cast. Circle of Healing provides that nom-nom-nom smart heal goodness in an insta-cast form.
• What do you feel is the biggest strength of your healing class and why?
  • Priest: Holy priests are strong raid healers, and this is where my healing enjoyment truly lies. In a pinch though, I can tank heal, and this is definitely a plus for the class. Priests also have so many spells, so the fun factor for healing is always there.
  • Shaman: Totems, totems, totems! Who doesn’t love them? And your armor is significantly higher than those squishy priests, too. Unfortunately, the slow raid heal spell didn’t agree with me in a burst-damage expansion like Wrath of the Lich King.
• What do you feel is the biggest weakness of your healing class and why?
  • Priest: Real easy to die. This definitely shows in PvP situations, but even in PvE, if you don’t have Fade and that new OT is a menace, you’re done for. My shaman spoiled me with her ability to sustain herself by spamming Lesser Healing Wave and relying on heavy armor.
  • Shaman: Too slow.
• In a 25 man raiding environment, what do you feel, in general, is the best healing assignment for you? Raid healing in both situations, but a Restoration shaman does a better job at tank heals than a Holy priest does if there’s a lack in the tank heal department.
• What healing class do you enjoy healing with most and why?
  • Priest: I love me a paladin. Since Holy priests are so strong on raid heals, the paladin’s tank healing capabilities really compliment well.
  • Shaman: Druid. I cast burst heal all day with Lesser Healing Wave, so let’s get some slow and steady HoTs!
• What healing class do you enjoy healing with least and why?
  • Priest: In 10-mans, another Holy priest. We need another tank healer in there! In 25-mans, druids. They like to raid heal, but my Circle of Healing is going to eat up that damage they’re rolling HoTs over whether I want it to or not–smart heals are mean that way.
  • Shaman: Paladin. You’ve condemned me to raid heal service and I get you think Chain Heal is awesome, but I am actually a big fan of Lesser Healing Wave on top of my nifty Earth Shield.
• What is your worst habit as a healer? Freaking out. Seriously, never Prayer of Healing without Serendipity 3, and don’t rely on Chain Heal when bad things are happening. Any slow spell means dead man with WotLK’s ridiculous burst damage output.
• What is your biggest pet peeve in a group environment while healing? Don’t tell me you need healing. Especially don’t tell me if someone else needs healing. I see it. Promise.
• Do you feel that your class/spec is well balanced with other healers for PvE healing? Definitely. I’ve never thought any healing class was weaker than the other enough that it’s unbalanced, though.
• What tools do you use to evaluate your own performance as a healer? Meters. I know everyone likes to say that meters don’t tell the whole story, but if you use them right, they can help out a lot. Don’t just check how your heals were in the fight. Check these things too: Overheals; dispels; mana regeneration. Compare yourself to other members of your class/spec. See how you’re doing. It also lets you get an idea of the strengths/weaknesses of the other classes. For instance, paladins do great heals, but their overheals are something else!
• What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about your healing class?
  • Priest: When people don’t realize the wildly different mechanics between Discipline and Holy. Both specs can raid heal and tank heal. Both specs can bubble. Both specs can HoT. But one spec is better at one of those roles than the other, and people should be aware of those strengths and weaknesses.
  • Shaman: OMG, that we can’t tank heal. I Hate That. With capitals.
• What do you feel is the most difficult thing for new healers of your class to learn? Whether they should use Spirit or mp5, and how to balance their mana, haste, and spellpower. It’s not just priests and shamans, but every class. Druids and priests should use Spirit, shamans and paladins should use mp5. Simple as that. Also, if you never go below 90% mana, get yourself some haste. If you’re oom constantly, stop stacking haste and focus more on your regen stat.
• If someone were to try to evaluate your performance as a healer via recount, what sort of patterns would they see (i.e. lots of overhealing, low healing output, etc)? I am the lowest overheals! /flex. Seriously though, I’m always high heals output, and I’m always pretty low overheals output. I have a reputation for being a good healer, and I really believe that’s because I’ve been doing it since vanilla. It’s all practice. Classes are just flavor; it ultimately comes down to the player.
• Haste or Crit and why?
  • Priest: Both, please! In equal measure!
  • Shaman: Crit, crit, crit, crit! Did I mention crit? Crit gives mana back thanks to the WS talents, and you’ll get Focus Magic if you tell people you have a 50% crit rating.
• What healing class do you feel you understand least? Paladins, because I’ve never played them. I’ve even played druid heals in Wrath content, but I’m not good enough about it to warrant discussing it in detail! You must be a masta grasshoppa to offer advice to others.
• What add-ons or macros do you use, if any, to aid you in healing? I used to use HealBot. I recently switched to Grid and mouse-over heals after our uber paladin, Ariadnia, told me it’ll clip off half-second stalls on my healing. I use Bartender4 to manage my explosion of buttons.
• Do you strive primarily for balance between your healing stats, or do you stack some much higher than others, and why?
  • Priest: I gem Spirit even though I read I’m not supposed to. I have an obsession with Body and Soul and it’s ability to save people that are running behind with things like deep breath, and PW:S is a mana sink, so that’s how I try to counteract it. I also stack a little more crit than most Holy priests because I’m a Surge of Light fan. Part of what I love about priests is that they allow this kind of flexibility in stats.
  • Shaman: I have serious crit addiction.

Part of this is tagging two others to participate, so I’m going to choose these two bloggers:

1. The Unconventional Priest, which is now a smite priest blog! ZOMG, go read it, it’s going to be uber!
2. Unbearably HoT, because I’d like to learn more about druid healing; not to mention every entry is dripping with sexual hilarity and I’d love to instigate another potential post.

Check out the Circle of Healers to others that have participated in this questionnaire. This whole thing was started by Miss Medicina.